Acceptance

holding space

This particular topic is tightly knit with equanimity, however it is not always easy to get to a point of complete acceptance. There are so many facets to complete acceptance. But a main thing is faith, or trust, that things are as they should be, and trusting that everything serves a purpose (even if it is beyond your wildest imagination).

MANTRA
When we look at the blockage, or what we are holding in the way of acceptance, there is most often something pretty profound to learn. I don’t know from where I picked up the mantra ‘Acknowledge - Accept - Appreciate - Let go’, however I’ve applied it to my journey since I was a teenager. It’s helped me move beyond many circumstances and to cherish why they have entered my life. Even through hardships, actually because of hardships, I had to learn how to truly turn situations around, without suppressing feelings along the way, and to see the valuable lessons in them. It’s been a wild ride, but also a very insightful one, without going into the drama of the story. When I finally learned that on the other side of a struggle lies an expanded sense of freedom, a lightness and ease, when something has been fully seen through - through and through - without any type of avoidance or escapism. This mantra can be applied to almost any situation or internal reaction. It became a means for me to sit with whatever came up, acknowledge a surge of emotions, accept the complexity of what arose and being fully present with it, appreciate it and be grateful for (this is a big one!) all that it has pointed to, and be ready to move forward with more ease by letting it go. This is new territory for the mind and heart. Oftentimes it is easier to do what is familiar. I believe this mantra has the potential to reprogram our deep grooves and patterns, offering alternative neurological pathways. It has taught me to be more open-hearted, to not close off, and to be more welcoming to all that life has to bring. No one is perfect, this is a continuous practice for sure, however it is helpful. And remember, that each ‘obstacle’ is a stepping stone to maturation of your connection with life / spirit / your self. Embrace it all as lessons that point you back home - to ease and openness. Acceptance and trust will be at the heart of it.

WELCOMING
In a sense it is all about holding space, for whatever arises, no matter our likes and dislikes. It is about welcoming all of life, as it is - without wishing something to be different. Ask yourself ‘Who wants this to be different?’ Most often you’ll find that is is coming from an emotional trigger, such as fear or resistance, or from old conditioning, old identification, old memories, held in the light of previous experiences. A lot of suffering is caused by us projecting a certain outcome instead of truly being with what is in the moment. Hence, this is another important piece; to accept life as it is gifted, without projecting our own expectations upon it. Letting go of control. Of course one should not accept abuse or not stand up for what is ethically or morally sound. But internally, in our emotional world we choose what we give our attention to and further invest in. We can’t always change the world around us, but we can affect how we respond to it.

INQUIRY
Some things, some emotions, some situations, might feel very uncomfortable to hold space for, it may be triggering a wave of stuff. But by inquiring deeper into the process - tracing reactions back to their source - holding space becomes the new norm by being spacious. There is ease and peacefulness to be found at the core of it. This is living freedom.

So, in short - accepting everything as is - not wanting to change anything, but rather accepting and appreciating - as is. As Ram Dass would say, ‘the level of suffering is a reflection of the resistance we hold’. Inquire into the resistance. Without judgement, hold space. Let yourself be the space that holds it all.